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I just want to be friends, plus a little extra. Also, I love you. — Dwight
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. — Michael
Insanity is everyone expecting you not to fall apart when you find out everything you believed in was a lie.
I think that pretty much sums it up…I found it at Spencer Gifts. — Michael Scott
Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. — Michael Scott
Office Quotes
It Just Seems Mean. But Sometimes, The Ends Justify The Mean. — Michael Scott
Happiness is a direction, not a place. — Sydney J. Harris
Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. — Dwight Schrute
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little superstitious. – Michael Scott
I’ve been involved in several cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader. — Creed Bratton
Buy a gift for a dog, and you’ll be amazed at the way it will dance and swerve its tail, but if don’t have anything to offer to it, it won’t even recognize your arrival; such are the attributes of fake friends.
Uh…nope. Nope. This isn’t a surprise. It’s surprising because you didn’t expect it, but you will… know it when you see it. — Michael Scott
I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out… — Kelly Kapoor
Change is inevitable. Change will always happen, but you have to apply direction to change, and that’s when it’s progress. — Doug Baldwin
I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do. — Michael Scott
And I knew exactly what to do. But I had no idea what to do in a much more real sense. – Michael Scott
I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things. — Andy
Before you call yourself a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or any other theology, learn to be human first.
Could you mean a vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered. — Meredith Palmer
Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.— Andy Bernard
and I Knew Exactly What To Do. But In A Much More Real Sense, I Had No Idea What To Do. — Michael Scott
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. — Lao Tzu
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year. — Dwight Schrute
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton. — Creed Bratton
I’m in love. I was hit by Cupid’s sparrow. — Michael
Often people who say they “don’t care” actually do. The moment they discuss you with their friends and family, compete with you, bad mouth you to others or react to anything you do or say is when they give themselves away. You can either be saddened or flattered that you affected someone so much. The perspective is yours to determine.
No, no… ’cause then the ice melts and it’s, like, ~second drink~. — Pam Beesly
I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good. — Michael Scott
if You Pray Enough, You Can Change Yourself Into A Cat Person. — Angela Martin
We must travel in the direction of our fear. — John Berryman
I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it…Nike. – Michael Scott
You couldn’t handle my undivided attention. — Dwight Schrute
I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers if it means I can be with you. — Dwight
Insecure people often falsify the past, to make the future pure.
If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too. — Ryan Howard
Should have burned this place down when I had the chance. — Michael Scott
I’m Not Superstitious But I’m A Little Stitious. — Michael Scott
Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.— Al Bernstein
One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway…I wonder who he ran over then. — Jim Halpert
The worst thing about prison was the dementors. – Michael
Tell him to call me ASAP. — Michael Scott
Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean you love me? We’ve only been dating for a week. Do you mean you love me like, ‘Oh, hey, there’s Holly. I love that girl.’ Or do you mean you love me like you love love me? — Holly
A deceitful man will go as far as to trample all over a woman’s reputation and spirit, to prove to his ex-love that he was faithful. The irony is he is still in love with his ex and the new woman in his life doesn’t even realize it.
i Just Want To Lie On The Beach And Eat Hot Dogs. That’s All I’ve Ever Wanted.— Kevin Malone
No question about it, I’m ready to get hurt again. — Michael
You’ve got to think about the big things while you’re doing the small things so that all the small things go in the right direction.— Alvin Toffler
I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve left them. — Andy Bernard
In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others. I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.
Lies don’t end relationships the truth does.
I want you to rub butter on my foot… Pam, please? I have Country Crock. — Michael Scott
Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people? — Kevin Malone
Wikipedia Is The Best Thing Ever. Anyone In The World Can Write Anything They Want About Any Subject. So You Know You Are Getting The Best Possible Information. — Michael Scott
The thing is, continuity of strategic direction and continuous improvement in how you do things are consistent with each other. They’re mutually reinforcing. — Michael Porter
R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk. — Dwight
Sorry, I annoyed you with my friendship. — Andy Bernard
Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go. ‘Cause of your butt. — Michael
Stupidity is to have amnesia over your faults when the person you hate makes theirs.
I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday. — Michael Scott
I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat. — Pam Beesly
disposable Cameras Are Fun Although They do seem Wasteful And You Don’t Ever Get To See Your Pictures. — Erin Hannon
You have to always be ready, always be alive, and always be willing to move in a new direction. — Kevin Spacey
I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30. – Michael Scott
I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl so I’m wise and I have worms. — Michael Scott
My resolution? I never want to make Holly cry again. Unless it’s from laughing too hard. — Michael
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick … or the side dick
Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it… tendinitis. — Jim Halpert
It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everybody to understand. — Michael Scott
‘r’ Is Among The Most Menacing Of Sounds. That’s Why They Call It ‘murder’ And Not ‘Mukduk. — Dwight Schrute
If everybody is doing it one way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going exactly in the opposite direction. — Sam Walton
I’m not superstitious…but I’m a little stitious. — Michael Scott
The joke’s on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist. – Michael Scarn
Do I need to be liked? Not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised. — Michael Scott
Did you give your baby an allergic reaction to talk to me? — Kelly
Claiming to love self, but willingly defaulting to cheating at the first sign of trouble is nothing short of playing yourself. Your ego may feel avenged – temporarily – but your heart and soul, the true self, will suffer the long-term effects of karma’s justifiable sting.
I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work for a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day. — Stanley Hudson
The doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. I’m going to die. — Stanley Hudson
Sometimes The Clothes At Gap Kids Are Just Too Flashy, So I’m Forced To Go To The American Girl Store And Order Clothes For Large Colonial Dolls. — Angela Martin
Failure doesn’t exist. It’s only a change of direction. — Alejandro Jodorowsky
If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die. — Stanley Hudson
Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. – Dwight Schrute
My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real. — Jim Halpert
I will raise a hundred children with a hundred of your lovers if it means I can be with you. — Dwight
In a narcissist’s world, you are not their one and only. You are an extension of that person and last place in their mind, while they secure back up narcissistic supply.
You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once. — Dwight Schrute
yeah, I Have A Lot Of Questions. Number One—how Dare You? — Kelly Kapoor
Start your day in an upward direction, and the rest of the day will follow the uphill path. — Vernon Howard
I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me. — Pam Beesly
Abraham Lincoln once said ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North,” and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. – Michael Scott
Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Scheider. — Creed Bratton
I think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us. — Phyllis
Julita was being spun like a top by a drop-dead-gorgeous Dominicano. Later she told us that he’d asked for her number and she had given him the wrong one. Why did you do that?” I asked her. He smelled married,” she said.
I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. – Kevin Malone
What are your weaknesses?” “I don’t have any, a**hole. — Kelly Kapoor
i Am Fast. To Give You A Reference Point I Am Somewhere Between A Snake And A Mongoose… And A Panther. — Dwight Schrute
You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight. — Jim Rohn
Boy, have you lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it! — Stanley Hudson
A man who sees you midweek and again on Sunday evening doesn’t belong to you
It’s like a long book that you never want to end. And you’re fine with that because you just never want to leave it. — Pam
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. — Michael Scott
I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number. — Kevin Malone
The Titanic did not hit the iceberg because they did not see it coming but because they could not change direction. — Dean Devlin
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