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Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!
If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
Happy Birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake.
When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there. – Catherine Pulsifer
Funny Birthday Wishes
The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet. Happy birthday!
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. — Golda Meir
First, you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. — Branch Rickey
If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would pee on you. That’s how much you mean to me, bro. Happy Birthday!
I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!
Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it. Catherine Pulsifer
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
If you live to a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past a hundred. — George Burns
Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!
It’s your birthday! You know what that means? One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids “Get off my lawn!” Everyone loves that guy!
This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can just tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless. Catherine Pulsifer
Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday, I will forget yours if you forget mine! Kate Summers
You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday! – Catherine Pulsifer
As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
At the age of 20, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn’t thinking of us at all. — John M. Eades
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Don’t just count your years, make your years count. George Meredith
From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye. – William Butler Yeats
Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet. — Robert Orben
May you live so long that your wrinkles have wrinkles. Happy birthday!
It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.
Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!
Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.~ Stanislaw Lec
All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. — George Harrison
The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!
You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. – Felix Severn
We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
Forget about the past you can’t change, the future you can’t predict, and forget about the present because I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!
Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.~ Helen Hayes
You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be. Irish Saying
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake! – Mitch Hedberg
Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing. — Bob Hope
I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday
As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have the ability to control the flames.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in my room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright
I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
The Best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. — H. V. Prochnow
For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is there! Happy Birthday!
We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!
You are in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday
If you’re enjoying these quotes, read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.
Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck
Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!
The secret to staying young is make-up… make up an age, then stick with it!
You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!
Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you make no difference in the world.
Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. — Felix Severn
Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!
Happy Birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!
It’s better to be over the hill than under it. Saying
Just remember that once you are over the hill, you start to speed up. – Charles Schultz
Remember that age is just a number… just a high one in your case!
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. — Rodney Dangerfield
May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.
Happiest of birthdays to her “she” to my “Nanigans”!
Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
Also visit: Funny Birthday Wishes For Friend
You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
When we are old all our pleasures are behind us but when we are young all our troubles are before us.
We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.
Looking 50 is great – if you’re 60. — Joan Rivers
A friend like you is like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always getting on my last nerve. But hey, can’t live without them. Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. — Ubie Blake
Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
After 30, a body has a mind of its own. — Bette Midler
Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age… And not acting it.
Happy birthday, Dude! Congrats on getting a year closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies. Not to mention the best parking spots at the grocery store.
Also visit: Birthday Wishes For Nephew
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday.
You know you’re 40 when your back is hairier than your head.
You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, and middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.
If we could be twice as young and twice as old we could correct all our mistakes. — Euripides
I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. — Bernard Baruch
Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.
Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened. — Jeniffer Yane
Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. — Phyllis Diller
Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today was my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. — Brigitte Bardot
I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. — Kitty Collins
Happy birthday! Super glad you were born.
The secret to staying young is makeup… Make up an age, then stick with it! Happy Birthday!
I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost
Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese. — Billie Burke
Great news! You’re still alive! Happy birthday!
You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older? Happy Birthday!
Those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. Happy Birthday!
I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
At 50 your work is almost done, and retirement sounds like fun. So enjoy your day while you can still play.
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. – Ogden Nash
May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. — Bob Hope
The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom. Happy Birthday!
I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birthday because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy Birth-month!
You’re not forty, you’re eighteen with twenty-two years of experience.
This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless. – Catherine Pulsifer
I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. — Jack Benny
Happy birthday! I think it’s great… How you used to be young.
Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… But hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. – Anonymous
Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting old. Happy birthday anyway.
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. — Jerry M. Wright
Happy birthday — I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!
You know you’re 40 when your back is hairier than your head. Happy Birthday!\
Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, just drink whatever’s in the glass!
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from
We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars-more and more repairs and replacements are necessary. – C.S. Lewis
Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your fart!
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. — Anthony Powell
You know what they say about more candles… A bigger wish! Happy Birthday.
At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified, and sober… Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything.
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – H.V. Prochnow
I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours, I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
I hope you like these ‘Funny Happy Birthday Wishes’. Thanks for visiting us. share on WhatsApp status, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms. Keep smiling and be happy.
